la la land

Mileage: 3013

Day: 11

First off - there were, sadly, no celebrity sightings in LA. So I can’t tell you who is fatter, shorter or more Botoxed in real life than they appear on screen. I can tell you that LA is, not surprisingly, a little gritty, a little dirty, and a little weird. The traffic is also horrendous. (How’s that for some original commentary on the city of angels?) The city is huge, though, so it’s not really fair to make generalizations. And, while there were no direct celebrity sightings per se, I did feel like we got a taste of Hollywood. This is thanks to my cousin Ben and his roommates, who offered up the spare room in their place, which was just a short bike ride from Venice Beach. Ben tells us that you can see the Hollywood sign from their rooftop, but when we looked it was covered by smog (which seemed like an LA experience in itself).

Before we even got to Ben’s, (and after stopping at a Bally’s, faking a workout, and taking a shower - so as not to arrive in LA smelling like a campfire), our first Los Angeles destination was the special effects and animation studio where Ben has just about the coolest job ever as an artist. The office was the kind you might assume exists only in movies made by Hollywood, not as an actual functioning workplace in Santa Monica. The architecture and interior design were unnecessarily cool and each room was filled with casually dressed artistic computer geniuses, creating and manipulating images and doing more technical work that I wouldn’t be able to describe to you if I tried. Suffice it to say that while Ben himself is not Hollywood, his job certainly is, and I felt fortunate to be able to get an inside look at it. Without Ben to let us in and show us around, I doubt we would have been able to see the inside of a studio like that (not without being escorted out as confused, lost Minnesotans in big, overwhelming LA, at least).

So you know the stereotype that everyone in New York City is trying to break into Broadway and everyone in LA is trying to sell a screenplay/TV series/themselves as an actor/writer/director etc? All I have to say about that is that is that of the 10 or so people we met while staying in LA, two of them were in meetings pitching a TV show with a well known actor. And if/when this TV show airs, I will brag that I was there in the beginning. Not actually. But at least I’ll be able to give you the actor’s name.

Hollywood itself (the location, not the concept) was a little less than impressive. I am glad I was there, so I can have a legitimate opinion about it, but now that I’ve been, I doubt I’ll ever feel the need to go again. A good portion of Hollywood Boulevard is the LA described above (gritty, dirty, weird, congested). Not that it matters all that much, since as a first-timer you walk the boulevard with your heard down, trying to read the stars - every other one is upside down - and calling out the most interesting ones to your walking companion (Mr. Rogers! Peewee Herman! Lassie!) The cleaner end of the boulevard, with the Chinese Theater, has stores like Gap and Banana Republic alongside a bunch of souvenir shops where you can purchase your very own Oscar and looks more like what I had pictured Hollywood to look like. Not that it’s any less weird. We happened to be there on the anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. And you know how intense Michael Jackson fans can be. Now picture a mob of them. At his star on Hollywood Boulevard. On the anniversary of his death. With music.

If I could recommend visiting anything in Hollywood, though, (and in close proximity to Michael Jackson’s star, if you heading there to moonwalk anyway), it would be the Chinese Theater. If for no other reason than to be able to say with confidence that while Matt Damon’s feet are big, his hands are not. And that Shirley Temple’s contribution if freaking adorable.

If you’re in LA and you’re feeling a little down, a little like an outcast, like you’ll never fit in, and all you want is to feel like a normal, ordinary, boring person, get thee down to the Venice Boardwalk. You’ll never feel weird again. There’s nothing like block after block of fact tattoos, spray painted dogs, ‘found’ objects like skulls and teeth for sale, and dudes who look way too stoned already holding cardboard signs saying ‘Why lie? I need weed’ to make you feel like a boring Midwesterner. In the midst of it all, there was a $5 freak show boasting two headed dogs, chickens, pigs... and the world’s most tattooed man. But the Venice Boardwalk is a freak show in itself and the world’s most tattooed man can’t have that many more tattoos than guy hawking hand-painted skulls, so we figured why waste the $5? If you do make it to Venice Beach, though, my suggestion is this: take or rent a bike. There is an excellent bike trail running all along the beach that offers a fun ride and a respite (or fast escape, if necessary) from the boardwalk.

For a more posh, less goth LA experience, head to Abbott Kinney. If you’re on my budget, this trip will consist mainly of window shopping, but the shops are so cool you won’t care. The area feels a little like New York’s Soho and a little European as well. And if you don’t mind paying $4 for a black coffee (which, even on my budget, I don’t when the coffee is this good and individually prepared in front of you), make a stop at Intelligentsia. The name is snobby, the decor is more minimalist than cozy, but the coffee is incredible. If you don’t want to pay $4 for a black coffee, you can pay about $5 for a mocha (the best I’ve had in some time) prepared for you by a barista who is really more of a coffee consultant and who can tell you that the chocolate they use us a combination of 63% bittersweet and their homemade ganache. I don’t even know what ganache is, but it was tasty. The place not to get a coffee, by the way, is the “coffee shop” on the corner of Beethoven and Venice where espresso is spelled ‘expreso’. They did make a mango smoothie that tasted like an Orange Julius though, so if that’s your thing...

And for an art museum LA style, the Getty will not disappoint. It’s not the best art museum I’ve ever been to, but it does have a nice collection, and the architecture and landscaping of the museum itself are nearly as impressive as the pieces on display. Plus, I found a new favorite Degas, titled ‘Waiting’.

Side note - for those of you following the gas light counter, it will (hopefully!) be staying where it’s at. On our 2 mile an hour crawl out of Hollywood the night before we left LA, the ‘check engine’ light came on. After taking the car to the shop the following morning (thanks Andrew!) we learned that the fuel gauge censor isn’t working correctly and so now, at any given point, we have some amount of gas less than what the car is telling us we have. We are making it a goal not to have any stranded-on-the-side-of-the-road postings; though, if it happens, I promise to write about it.

On our last day in LA, after watching the US get ousted from the World Cup by Ghana, we lightened the mood California style, by surfing in Malibu. (I use the term ‘we’ loosely - meaning Ben, his roommate Andrew, their two friends, the new recruit Curt, and me - beachside blogger/photographer).

Best overheard quote in LA:

“I’ve got a particular pepper I’d like to pickle.”

“Oh, we’ve all got one of those.”